A small zoo in Lancashire acquired a very rare species of gorilla.
Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem.
The gorilla was in season and to make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available. Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Albert Ramsbottom, a local lad & part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages.
Albert, like many Lancashire blokes, felt he had ample ability to satisfy any female. The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution, so Albert was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for £500?
Albert showed some interest, but said he would have to think
the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under four conditions:
1. “First up”, Albert said, “No kissin’ on’t lips.”
The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.
2. “Secund”, he said, “Tha’ can’t ever tell anybody abaht this.”
The Keeper again readily agreed to this condition.
3. “Thurd”, Albert said, “Ah want all’t babies raised as Bolton Wanderers supporters.”
Once again it was agreed.
4. “And last of all”, Albert stated, “Tha’s got to gi me another week to come up wi’ 500 quid