January: Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February: Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels. Helllloooo!!!……..bottles won’t fit in printer !!!
March: Got really excited……finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months….. box said “2-4 years!”
April: Trapped on escalator for hours …. power went out!!!
May: Tried to make Kool-Aid…..wrong instructions….8 cups of water won’t fit into those little packets!!!
June: Tried to go water skiing……..couldn’t find a lake with a slope.
July: Lost breast stroke swimming competition…..learned later the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August: Got locked out of my car in rain storm….. car swamped because soft-top was open.
September: The capital of California is “C”…..isn’t it???
October: Hate M & M’s…..they are so hard to peel .
November: Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!
December: Couldn’t call 911. “duh”…..there’s no “eleven” button on the stupid phone!!!