British Life

Why we like the British

True Reports from British life ……..!!!

Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, ‘We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It’s possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house.’
(The Daily Telegraph)

Police reveal that a woman arrested for shoplifting had a whole salami in her underwear. When asked why, she said it was because she was missing her Italian boyfriend.
(The Manchester Evening News)

Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It’s a Special Branch vehicle and they don’t want the public to know what it looks like.
(The Guardian)

A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coast guard spokesman commented, ‘This sort of thing is all too common’.
(The Times)

At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coast guard and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he didn’t have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff.
(Aberdeen Evening Express)

Mrs.Graham, of Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled –
‘He’d always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out ‘Heil Hitler.”
( Bournemouth Evening Echo)

17 Responses to “British Life”

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  1. says:

    Twitter ID:

    Good one! 😛

  2. Russ says:

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    Some great one’s there Steve.

  3. bj says:

    and no hacking of any sorts was required in the reporting of these stories …

  4. Comedy Plus says:

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    The news here is just as weird. Funny though and I often wonder about the folks that put the news together. Often.

    Have a terrific day and I won’t do anything that you wouldn’t do. I promise. 🙂

  5. Will says:

    These are sure in the “too odd to be made up” category!

  6. AVCr8teur says:

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    These stories are funny no matter which side of the ocean they’re from.

  7. Twitter ID:

    Too funny. Not sure which is my favorite – either the 1st or the 4th. Thanks for sharing these.

  8. Don E. Chute says:

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    SooooooooMuch Humor in Truth.

    Keep the Gang Bangin’ B2


  9. iTunes App Blog says:

    Amazing news. The salami one was hilarious…can’t believe it really happened! LOL