Dim Magistrate?

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magistrateAn elderly man whose enjoyment of drink was as equal to the pleasure he took from great works of literature, was taken before the bench in a small town.
“You are charged with being drunk and disorderly” the magistrate told him brusquely. “Have you anything to say about why sentence should not be pronounced ?”
“The quality of mercy is not strained” the old man began, waxing lyrical, “I am not so debased as Poe, so profligate as Byron, so ungrateful as Keats, so intemperate as Burns, so timid as Tennyson, so vulgar as Shakespeare, so….”
“That’s quite enough” interrupted the magistrate. “Seven days. And, officer, round up those other fellows he mentioned. They sound as bad as he is.”

10 Responses to “Dim Magistrate?”

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  1. Rhonda Albom says:
    August 6, 2015 at 7:36 am

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    LOL – how did he make judge without reading?

  2. Paul F. Pietrangelo says:
    August 6, 2015 at 2:06 pm

    Oh my God! That Magistrate must have failed English. LOL.
    Have a Shakespeare of a day my friend. See ya.

    Cruisin Paul

  3. Comedy Plus says:
    August 6, 2015 at 4:29 pm

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    That magistrate is not the brightest candle in the box is he. Bwahahahahahahahaha.

    Have a fabulous day Steve. 🙂

  4. Tony McGurk says:
    August 7, 2015 at 8:29 am

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    That magistrate must’ve got his law degree from inside a cereal box
    Have a magistratastic day Steve

  5. mimi says:
    August 7, 2015 at 10:46 am

    Are you sure he’s not from Louisiana? Heeheehee!