Ed came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside
his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.

He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, ‘You died in your sleep, Ed.’

Ed was stunned. ‘I’m dead? No, I can’t be! I’ve got too much to live for. Send me back!’

St. Peter said, ‘I’m sorry, but there’s only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.’

Ed was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home….
The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking the ground.

A rooster strolled past. ‘So, you’re the new hen, huh? How’s your first day here?’

‘Not bad,’ replied Ed the hen, ‘but I have this strange feeling inside. Like
I’m gonna explode!’

‘You’re ovulating,’ explained the rooster. ‘Don’t tell me you’ve never laid an
egg before?’

‘Never,’ said Ed.

‘Well, just relax and let it happen,’ says the rooster. ‘It’s no big deal.’

He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!

He was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood.

He soon laid another egg — his joy was overwhelming.

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard…..

“Ed, wake up! You shit the bed!”

Getting OLD just ain’t what they said it would be! 😯

15 Responses to “Ed”

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  1. Russ says:

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    Sorry Steve but that one was a little gross.LOL

  2. Ian@Unofficial Chart Blog says:

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    Brings the phrase “Chicken Shit” into prospective LOL x

  3. Comedy Plus says:

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    Bwahahahahahaha. Yep, he had waaaaaaaay too much to drink.

    Have a terrific day. 🙂

  4. Don E. Chute says:

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    Poor Ed…Things could get really-really nasty waiting for those to hatch.

    Nice One, B2
    Happy Trails…

  5. Art of RetroCollage says:

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    Glad I’m not reading this during breakfast!

  6. Enfotainer says:

    I heard this one way before but still made me laugh like crazy…LOL

  7. ShoutBloger says:

    Ahaahaaaaaaaaaa………… it seems I will stop eating eggs from now

  8. Lainy says:

    LOL! I can;t help but laugh out loud. So hilarious!