Excuse The Puns 1

excuse-the-puns1. The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’

Image credit → Funnyjunk.com

Don't be shellfish...
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8 Responses to “Excuse The Puns 1”

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  1. Oh Dear, somebody has been busy trying to be funny LMFAO xxx
    Ian@UnofficialChartBlog recently posted..Mid-Week Chart: 3rd July 2013My Profile

  2. Comedy Plus
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    Love them all. I love me some play on words.

    Have a terrific day Steve. :)
    Comedy Plus recently posted..More MaxineMy Profile

  3. Joyce
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    These are all groaners, but pretty punny, too.
    Joyce recently posted..MaxineMy Profile

  4. Rhonda@Laugh-Quotes
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    Fun. I think my favorite was #10 – Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
    Rhonda@Laugh-Quotes recently posted..La Brea Tar Pits – An Amazing Bit of History and Fun!My Profile

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