Excuse The Puns 1

excuse-the-puns1. The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’

Image credit → Funnyjunk.com

8 Responses to “Excuse The Puns 1”

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  1. Ian@UnofficialChartBlog says:

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    Oh Dear, somebody has been busy trying to be funny LMFAO xxx

  2. Comedy Plus says:

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    Love them all. I love me some play on words.

    Have a terrific day Steve. 🙂

  3. Joyce says:

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    These are all groaners, but pretty punny, too.

  4. Twitter ID:

    Fun. I think my favorite was #10 – Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.