Fun Puns

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.

Practice safe eating – always use condiments.

Shotgun wedding – A case of wife or death.

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.

A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired.

What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead give away.)

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia – the LAN down under.

Every calendar’s days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted – Taint yours and taint mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

Once you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

πŸ˜‰ You now deserve a great weekend πŸ˜‰

5 Responses to “Fun Puns”

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  1. Russ says:

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    Good ones Steve. Most of which I hadn’t heard before. Thanks

  2. Comedy Plus says:

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    Right on the money if you ask me. I might have to use some of these. Just saying.

    Have a terrific day and weekend. πŸ™‚

  3. Twitter ID:

    Quite fun. Great minds think, I did similar on my current post – only with questions. My favorite here: What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead give away.)

  4. Don E. Chute says:

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    “Practice safe eating – always use condiments.”
    Is that like putting salt on your peter?

    Happy 4th! You folks are glad to be rid of US, right?
    Aloha From Sunny South Florida!

  5. Art of RetroCollage says:

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    Where DO you get these! They remind me of Oscar Wilde’s wit.