He said to himself, ‘Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven, three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine …’
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, ‘What are you doing?’
The little boy answered, ‘I’m doing my maths homework, Mum.’
‘And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?’ the mother asked
‘Yes,’ he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, ‘What are you teaching my son in maths?’
The teacher replied, ‘Right now, we are learning addition.’
The mother asked, ‘And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?’
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, ‘What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.’[/box] [box style=”blue”]When a mother was six months pregnant with her third child, her three year old came into the room when she was just getting ready to get into the shower.
She said, ‘Mummy, you are getting fat!’ her mother replied, ‘Yes, honey, remember Mummy has a baby growing in her tummy.’
‘I know,’ she replied, but what’s growing in your bum?’[/box] [box style=”alert”]A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
Five minutes later … ‘Da-ad …’
‘I’m thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?’
‘No, you had your chance. Lights out.’
Five minutes later: ‘Da-aaaad …’
‘I’m THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water?’
‘ I told you NO! If you ask again, I will have to smack you!’
Five minutes later … ‘Daaaa-aaaad …’
‘When you come in to smack me, can you bring a drink of water?’[/box]