Laws Of Reality

THE LAWS OF ULTIMATE REALITY

1. Law of Mechanical Repair
   After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.

2. Law of Gravity
   Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability
   The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers
   If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

5. Law of the Alibi
   If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

6. Variation Law
   If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

7. Law of the Bath
   When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters
   The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result
   When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.

10. Law of Biomechanics
    The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11. Law of the Theater
    At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

12. The tarbucks Law
    As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy’s Law of Lockers
    If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces
    The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

15. Law of Logical Argument
    Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.

16. Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance
    If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.

17. Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking
    A closed mouth gathers no feet.

18. Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
    As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

19. Doctor’ Law
    If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better. Don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick.

All so familiar but number two stands out for me, it happens to me every time

Tagged as: fun, laugh, laws, life, reality