Lexophile

q“Lexophile” is a word used to describe those that have a love for words,
such as “you can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish”, or “to write with
a broken pencil is pointless.” A competition to see who can come up
with the best lexophiles is held every year in an undisclosed location.
These are this year’s submissions.
.. When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
.. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
.. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
.. The batteries were given out free of charge.
.. A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
.. A will is a dead giveaway.
.. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
.. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
.. When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
.. Police were called to a Day Care Center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
.. Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
.. A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is too tired.
.. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
.. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
.. He had a photographic memory, which was never developed.
.. When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she’d dye.
.. Acupuncture is a jab well done. That’s the point of it.
And the cream of the wretched crop:
.. Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.
ALWAYS LAUGH WHEN YOU CAN. IT IS CHEAP MEDICINE!!!

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6 Responses to “Lexophile”

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  1. Comedy Plus
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    says:

    Some of these are very clever. I love a good play on words, it’s the lexophile in me.

    Have a fabulous day Steve. 🙂
    Comedy Plus also recently posted..GiuseppeMy Profile

  2. Joyce
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    says:

    Great puns. These are tough to “right”!
    Joyce also recently posted..Armed RobberyMy Profile

  3. mimi says:

    Heeheehee! These are fun to read!
    mimi also recently posted..Silly Sunday: Pass the Collection Plate, Deacon!My Profile