Man Gets Hired To Murder Wife

Here’s the story.. . ..

Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.

A ‘friend of a friend’ put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of ‘Artie.’

Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was £5,000.

The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn’t have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife’s insurance money.

Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single pound note that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the pound as down payment for the dirty deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man’s wife to the local Tesco store. There, he surprised her in the produce department & proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands & as the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the floor………

The manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol’ Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.

However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras & observed by the store’s security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught & arrested before he could even leave the store.

Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.

The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared …

‘ARTIE CHOKES 2 for £1.00 AT TESCO’


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15 Responses to “Man Gets Hired To Murder Wife”

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  1. Christy
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    OH MY GOODNESS! Clearly that is a terrible situation, but the newspaper headline is hilarious!
    Christy also recently posted..Think of me Thursday bloghop thursdayMy Profile

  2. Lainy says:

    Hey Steve! It feels great to be back here! What a terrible situation for the desperate husband. But the newspaper headline made me laugh my heart out, LOL!

    BTW, thanks for the constant visits at Lainy’s Musings despite my absence. I have a lot of catching up to do 🙂

  3. Greg says:

    Now that’s a two for one sale that you shouldn’t miss!
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  4. Octo-Dolls Satiricial Nesting Dolls
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    says:

    Best…headline…ever. WIN! OMG. And that’s a good deal for artie chokes.
    Octo-Dolls Satiricial Nesting Dolls also recently posted..The Octomom Needs a Sassy Gay FriendMy Profile

  5. ceemee says:

    What an unexpected ending! 🙂
    ceemee also recently posted..Preparing For A ToddlerMy Profile

  6. Marg says:

    Good one, Love the headline. That does sound like a terrific deal for a good choke.
    Marg also recently posted..Donkeys want to LIVESTRONG tooMy Profile

  7. I will take 2 please…I’m heading down there now actually but for something cold and in a bottle…
    William K Wallace also recently posted..London Bridge Really Has Turned redMy Profile

  8. Kids island@Nurseries Dubai says:

    artie choke 2 for 1 …rush everyone……ha hha ha .

    good ending …like bollywood film..as expected