A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs
when she opens the door, there stands Bob , the next-door neighbour
before she says a word, Bob says, ‘I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.’
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in
front of Bob , after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves,
the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, ‘Who was that?’
‘it was Bob the next door neighbour she replies,
‘great,’ the husband says, ‘did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?’
A priest offered a Nun a lift,
she got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg
the priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg
the nun said, ‘father, remember Psalm 129?’
the priest removed his hand but, changing gears, he let his hand slide up
her leg again.
The nun once again said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’
the priest apologized ‘Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.’
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily
And went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It
said, ‘Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.’
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out..
The Genie says, ‘I’ll give each of you just one wish.’
‘Me first! Me first!’ says the admin clerk. ‘I want to be in the Bahamas ,
driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.’
Puff! She’s gone.
‘Me next! Me next!’ says the sales rep. ‘I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing
on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas
and the love of my life.’
Puff! He’s gone.
‘OK, you’re up,’ the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, ‘I want those two back in the office after
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing..
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, ‘Can I also sit like you and do
The eagle answered: ‘Sure, why not.’
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. Al l of a
sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it..
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
‘I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree’ sighed the turkey,
‘but I haven’t got the energy..’
‘Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?’ replied the bull.
They’re packed with nutrients.’
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough
strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze
and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize
how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy…
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung,
and promptly dug him out and ate him.
THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE