“I made my girlfriends dreams come true and married her in a castle. You wouldn’t have thought it though from the miserable look on her face as we were bouncing around!”
“After sh*gging Kylie Minogue yesterday I think there are two things you all need to know. She really is as s*xy as hell, secondly the staff at Madam Tussauds are miserable b*stards with no sense of humour!!”
“Took the other half to a Disco last night. There was a bloke on the dance floor giving it large, breakdancing, backflips, moonwalking the works. Other half says ” That guy proposed to me 20 years ago and I turned him down” I replied ” looks like he is still celebrating”
Paddy thought his new girlfriend might be the one but after looking through her knicker drawer and finding a nurse’s outfit, a French maids outfit, and a police womans uniform, he finally decided if she can’t hold down a job, she’s not for him.