Paraprosdokians

laughIf I had a pound for every girl that found me unattractive, they’d eventually find me attractive.

I find it ironic that the colours red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they’re flashing behind you.

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

I’m great at multi-tasking — I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

Take my advice β€” I’m not using it.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years; then we met.

Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they’re at home when you wish they were.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.

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10 Responses to “Paraprosdokians”

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  1. Good morning ( here in Amherstburg ) Steveo. I’m not sure what time it would be where you are at. I hope I didn’t wake you up. If I did, so what. Ha,ha,ha. As you can see I’m feeling giddy at the moment.
    I love what you gave us today. I loved these two especially.
    ” I find it ironic that the colours red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they’re flashing behind you.

    Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water ”

    Well my friend, have a wonderful exciting Thursday. See ya until later.

    Cruisin Paul

    • stevebethere
      Twitter ID:
      says:

      It’s nearly 2pm here there is a London clock on my sidebar you can check on πŸ™‚

      LOL your so kind with the donation I hope it was a pint glass haha!

      Have a tanfastic day Pauleo and thanks for wafting by πŸ™‚

  2. Comedy Plus
    Twitter ID:
    says:

    Bwahahahahahahahaha. I stole this one and it’s going to be my Silly Sunday on July 31. Thanks. I gave you credit of course.

    Have a fabulous day Steve. πŸ™‚
    Comedy Plus also recently posted..Wordless WednesdayMy Profile

  3. mimi says:

    Heeheehee! Yep, i know a few people who have stopped to think and i’m not sure they ever will start again.
    mimi also recently posted..Six Sentence Story: Careful What You Wish ForMy Profile

  4. Rosey says:

    You’ve got some good ones here. I did laugh out loud about the pool water. πŸ™‚

  5. Rhonda
    Twitter ID:
    says:

    These are sage words of advice.
    Rhonda also recently posted..The Saga of a Runaway Sourdough Bread in San FranciscoMy Profile