The Penis

The Day the Penis asked for a Raise

SmallI, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labour.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

P. Niss

The Response

Dear P. Niss:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative – you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don’t always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the
Correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task…
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.


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5 Responses to “The Penis”

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  1. Rhonda Albom
    Twitter ID:

    Poor Mr. Ness, clearly Ms Gina has him beat.
    Rhonda Albom also recently posted..Giveaway: Clean Me, Guard Me, Heal Me – My Travel EssentialsMy Profile

  2. Rosey says:

    That’s a harsh reply, lol

  3. Comedy Plus
    Twitter ID:

    Bwahahahahahahaha. Sounds right to me.

    Have a fabulous day Steve. 🙂
    Comedy Plus also recently posted..Wise QuotesMy Profile

  4. Jay @craftyspices
    Twitter ID:

    Not sure that I have many words to say…
    And what a Response he got.

  5. Joyce
    Twitter ID:

    I wouldn’t give him a raise either, since he always gets one, anyways.
    Joyce also recently posted..#MM Songs to Get Stuck in Your HeadMy Profile