“I was married by a judge, i should have asked for a jury”
Groucho Marx
“My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe”
Jimmy Durante
“I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back”
Zsar Zsar Gabor
“Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine sugar and fat”
Alex Levine
“My luck is so bad that if i bought a cemetery, people would stop dying”
Rodney Dangerfield
“Money can’t buy you happiness…but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery”
Spike Milligan
Twitter ID: clickonportal
LOL! Nice quotes! I seriously have not heard these before!
“I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back”
Zsar Zsar Gabor
My personal fave. 🙂
LOl yeah i liked them
I will be posting a few more soon 🙂