The Popular Vicar

At Sunday Church the local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more.

There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave because he is so popular.

Royston Smeethurd, who owns several car dealerships in Rugby and Serangoon, stands up and proclaims: ‘If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Alpha Romeo every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!’

The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.

James Hesson, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says, ‘If the Vicar will stay on here, I’ll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school education of his children!’

More sighs and loud applause.

Agnes Hull, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, ‘If the Vicar stays, I will give him sex.’

There is total silence.

The Preacher, blushing, asks her, ‘Mrs. Jones, you’re a wonderful and holy lady, whatever possessed you to say something like that?’

Agnes’s 90-year old husband, Joe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side.

His wife replied, ‘Well, I just asked my husband how we could help out-, and he said, ‘Fuck him’.

Tagged as: congregation, donations, fun, joke, laugh, Silly Stuff, vicar