Puns For Those With A Slightly Higher IQ

๐Ÿ˜ฏ Ok then for any IQ ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.

Practice safe eating – always use condiments.

Shotgun wedding – A case of wife or death.

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.

A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired.

What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead give away.)

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia – the LAN down under.

Every calendar’s days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted – Taint yours and taint mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

Once you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

No puns intended
You knew that was coming didn’t you?

5 Responses to “Puns For Those With A Slightly Higher IQ”

Read below or add a comment...

  1. Twitter ID:

    I think my IQ just about managed to cope! My personal favourite just has to be, ‘She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off’. I admittedly had to read it twice to get…

  2. Comedy Plus says:

    Twitter ID:

    I just managed to get through this great list too. I like these.

    Have a terrific day. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • stevebethere says:

      Twitter ID:

      @ CP
      I should of really posted in two parts i was being a lazy bastard lol

      Thanks for your feedback as usual ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Zach June says:

    Twitter ID:

    Nice list. I enjoyed it much! ๐Ÿ˜‰