Random Thoughts As We Age

?The biggest lie I tell myself is …”I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes and come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller!

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet!

I don’t trip over things, I do random gravity checks!

I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off!

Old age is coming at a really bad time!

Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the friends to post my bail when I finally snap!

I don’t have grey hair. I have “wisdom highlights”………. I’m just very wise.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would’ve put them on my knees.

The kids text me “plz” which is shorter than please. I text back “no”…..which is shorter than “yes”.

I’m going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I’ll do that second week.

When did it change from “We the people” to “screw the people”???

Even duct tape can’t fix stupid ……… but it can muffle the sound!

Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just gonna transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?

Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice!

Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?

At my age “Getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

And, of course… Have I post this to you already? 😯

13 Responses to “Random Thoughts As We Age”

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  1. ” The biggest lie I tell myself is …”I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.” Basically, I need to write everything down because I will forget everything. It bothered me a great deal but now I’ve realized, that’s my life and I just have to live with it.

    Stevebethere, I do hope that you will have a Happy New Year and hope that we continue to be blogger friends. I’ve enjoyed the opportunity of knowing you and reading your blog.

    ” Happy New Year ” my friend. See ya.

    Cruisin Paul

  2. Comedy Plus says:

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    These are so true. I’ll be 65 in September and I think I’ve pretty much experienced all of these.

    Have a agetastic day my friend. πŸ™‚

    Comedy Plus recently posted..New WheelsMy Profile

  3. Twitter ID:

    These are great. Age is just a number…so I guess that means if we lie to ourselves, we’re all the better for it.

  4. Rhonda Albom says:

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    LOL – I can relate to far too many of these – except the procrastination, not usually a problem for me.

    Rhonda Albom recently posted..Albom Adventures 2015 Photos: A Year In Review (WTI)My Profile

  5. mimi says:

    Yes, you probably have posted it already, but that’s okay, i can’t remember that far back! And yes, you have to talk to yourself, you need at least one intelligent conversation every day.

    Happy New Year!

    mimi recently posted..Happy Feline New Year Friday!My Profile

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    I am like Rhonda I relate to way to many of these, my saying, “Im having a senior moment”.

    Happy New Year!!

  7. Tony McGurk says:

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    Duct Tape is a wonderful thing

    Tony McGurk recently posted..RosesMy Profile