Rectum Stretcher

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*THE RECTUM STRETCHER*

While I was driving along the motorway the other day,
(going a little faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait.

The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car,
and with that classic patronizing smirk, asked:

“Runway too short?”

To which I replied, “I’m late for work.”

To which he asked, “What do you do?”

“I’m a rectum stretcher,” I responded.

The copper was surprised and confused. “A what?

A rectum stretcher??**

And just what does a rectum stretcher do?”

“Well,” I said, “I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly, but surely stretch the hole, until it’s about 6 feet.”

Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously,

And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?”

To which I politely replied, “You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge…” 😯


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8 Responses to “Rectum Stretcher”

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  1. Joyce
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    says:

    That would get one out of a ticket … not!
    Joyce also recently posted..Silly Sunday: Curtain RodsMy Profile

  2. Rhonda@Laugh-Quotes
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    says:

    Sounds like a one way trip to jail to me. LOL – great joke. Thanks for linking up 🙂
    Rhonda@Laugh-Quotes also recently posted..Squeeze the Lemon – A Silly Sunday JokeMy Profile

  3. Steve says:

    One way trip to jail for sure. Maybe a stop at the hospital to remove the cops boot out of your arse.. LOL

    Have a great day!

  4. Russ
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    says:

    No Ticket for sure. A little jail time instead.LOL
    Russ also recently posted..Castles in ItalyMy Profile