Police work must be entertaining as well as dangerous.
Recently, a female police officer arrested Chris P Bacon, a 22 year old white male, for fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of the night.
The next day, at the County (GA) courthouse, Bacon was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency and public intoxication.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, ‘You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn’t anyone around’ he stated.
Bacon went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged need. ‘Guess I was really into it, you know?’ he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process of doing the deed, Bacon failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer Fanny Frothingham approached him.
‘It was an unusual situation, that’s for sure,’ said Officer Frothingham. ‘I walked up to Bacon and he’s just banging away at this pumpkin.’
Officer Frothingham went on to describe what happened when she approached Bacon.
‘I said, ‘Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you’re having sex with a pumpkin??’
He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said, ‘A pumpkin? Shit … is it midnight already?’ 😯