Seamus And Bessie

An Irish farmer named Seamus had an accident with a lorry and was suing the lorry company. In court their hot-shot solicitor was questioning Seamus..

Solicitor

‘Now didn’t you say to the Police at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine?’

Seamus

‘Well , I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite cow Bessie into the…’

Solicitor

‘I didn’t ask for any details , just answer the question. Did you not tell the police officer at the scene of the accident, “I’m fine !” ?’

Seamus

‘Well, I had just got Bessie into the sidecar and I was driving down the road…..’

The solicitor interrupted again and said,

‘Your Honour , I am trying to establish the fact that , at the scene of the accident this man told the police that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.’

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Seamus’s answer and said to the solicitor:

‘I’d like to hear what he has to say about his favourite cow Bessie’.

Seamus thanked the Judge and proceeded.

‘Well as I was saying , I had just loaded Bessie , my favourite cow , into the sidecar and was driving her down the road when this huge lorry and trailer came through a stop sign and hit me right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurt very bad like and didn’t want to move. However , I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her and saw her condition , he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.

Then the policeman came charging across the road , gun still in hand , looked me up and down , and said
‘How badly are you hurt?’

‘Now what the fuck would you have said’?

Tagged as: cow, farmer, fun, joke, judge