Shower Habits

How To Shower Like a Woman?

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it’s clean.?
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.?

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.?

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.?

How To Shower Like a Man

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making the ‘woo-woo’ sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.?

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.?

Wash your hair.

Make a Shampoo Mohican

Wee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.?

Admire willy size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the ‘woo-woo’ sound again.?

Throw wet towel on bed. 😯

πŸ™‚ Oh well, I’m off for a shower πŸ™‚


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8 Responses to “Shower Habits”

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  1. Ian@Unofficial Chart Blog
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    says:

    PMFSL – Very clever Steve – I’m especially loving the way you have put your tags: facial, fart! Hmm, thats a bit fetishy isn’t it? LOL

  2. Shailender @ Romantic Getaways says:

    Wow! I’m damn sure, you’re a superman and you must be watching men & women from outside while they are taking wash unless you won’t be able to write this post. :D:D
    Shailender @ Romantic Getaways also recently posted..Merry Christmas &amp Happy Holidays from India DarshanMy Profile

  3. Julie @Momspective
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    says:

    I have a process. I only use salon stuff. Shampoo, condition, wash face and body and shave while conditioner sits, rinse and get out. I can get it all done in under five minutes. I usually pee in the shower too. It’s a thing.

  4. Russ
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    says:

    Sounds like you have the whole process down pat.Do you have xray specs?

  5. Comedy Plus
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    says:

    Now if this isn’t the truth. Bwahahahahahaha.

    Have a terrific day. πŸ™‚
    Comedy Plus also recently posted..The VeterinarianMy Profile

  6. Twisting the Spanner says:

    Scary because it’s true.

    It should be pointed out that–in addition to your incisive article–Willy Size Admiration (WSA for short) can be done at any point during the day or night.
    Twisting the Spanner also recently posted..Ricky Gervais’ Golden Globes Disaster- A British PerspectiveMy Profile

  7. Greg says:

    Steve how the hell do you know what I’m doing when I shower?
    Greg also recently posted..Wikileaks Exposes- The Plumbers Crack ConspiracyMy Profile

  8. Art of RetroCollage
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    says:

    So accurate!
    Art of RetroCollage also recently posted..Happy 107th Birthday- Joseph Cornell!My Profile