The king says, “aye Paddy, to be sure, all Irish humans use things for what they call a Do-It-Yourself Virginity Test Kit a can of red paint, a can of blue paint and a shovel.
Paddy asks “Aye, and to be sure, what do I do with these things oh King?”
The king of the fairies replies,
“Before ye climb into your bed on your wedding night, you paint one of your balls red the other blue, If she says “That’s the strangest pair of balls I ever did see….!” You hit her with the shovel.