Simple Truths

Lovers help each other undress before sex.
However after sex, they always dress on their own.

Moral of the story:
In life, no one helps you once you’re screwed.

When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and say, “Congrats”.
But, none of them touch the man’s penis and say, “Good job”.

Moral of the story:
Hard work is never appreciated.

1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.

2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the ass-hole’s name.

3. If you help someone when they’re in trouble, they will remember you when they’re in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.

5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.

[box style=”blue”]Bonus: Condoms don’t guarantee safe sex.
Especially if the woman’s husband catches you. :mrgreen:[/box]

10 Responses to “Simple Truths”

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  1. Comedy Plus says:

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    Bwahahahahahaha. I love them all. So very true too.

    Have a fantastic day Steve. 🙂

    Comedy Plus recently posted..Seymour #7My Profile

  2. Petro Neagu says:

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    It’s so funny…cause it’s true 🙂


  3. Joyce says:

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    Simple but true. Thanks for the laugh.

    Joyce recently posted..Back From The FutureMy Profile

  4. Twitter ID:

    Great collection of “truths.” I think my favorite is simple truth #2, although they are all pretty funny.

    Rhonda@Laugh-Quotes recently posted..Homeschool vs Private School – A Quick Review of our First Month in the SystemMy Profile

  5. Ian@UnofficialChartBlog says:

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    They all are so true LOL