Silly Sunday at Comedy Plus
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The Elderly Scottish Jew
An elderly Scottish Jew has decided to take it a little easier and take up golf, so he puts his name down at the local club.
After a week he receives a message that his application has been turned down, so he goes down to the club to inquire why.
Secretary: You are aware that this is a Scottish golf club?
Scot: Aye, but I am as Scottish as you are Jock.
Secretary: This means that on formal occasions we wear kilts.
Scot: Aye, so do I.
Secretary: You are aware that we wear nothing under our kilts?
Scot: Aye, neither do I.
Secretary: But you are a Jew?
Scot: Aye, I be that.
Secretary: So you are circumcised?
Scot: Aye, I be that too.
Secretary: I am terribly sorry, but the members just would not feel comfortable with that.
Scot: Ach, away with ye man. I know that ye have to be a Protestant to march with the Orangemen. And I know that ye have to be a Catholic to become a Knight of Saint Columbus.
But this is the first time I heard that ye have to be a complete prick to join a golf club.