The Explanation

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.

And she was somewhat upset. ‘You are a disrespectful pig!’ she cried. ‘How dare you do this to me — a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I’m leaving you. I want a divorce right away!’

And the husband replied, ‘Hang on just a minute love so at least I can tell you what happened.’ ‘Fine, go ahead,’ she sobbed,’ but they’ll be the last words you’ll say to me!’

And the husband began — ‘Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.

I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn’t eaten for three days.

So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn’t eat because you’re afraid you’ll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don’t wear because you say they are too tight.

I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don’t wear because I don’t have good taste.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don’t wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don’t wear because someone at work has a pair the same.’

The husband took a quick breath and continued – ‘She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, ‘Please … Do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?’


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23 Responses to “The Explanation”

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  1. Comedy Plus says:

    Twitter ID:
    Being female that’s a pretty flimsy excuse, but it is funny.

    Have a terrific day. 🙂

  2. Steve says:

    I’ve got to remember that one. I don’t think my wife will fall for it but I’ll try.

    Have a great day!

  3. Colleen says:

    I thought he was gonna say, …. and then… being as how geezerly I am, I forgot everything and when I turned around there was this person wearing your clothes and I just thought it was beautiful beautiful you and I ravished her right then and there.

  4. Colleen says:

    Oh BTW thanks for the featured site. I know I’ve slipped my update schedule but I got two new comics inked and I will publish again on the 19th.

  5. Twitter ID:
    Amazing excuse and don’t think wife would say any word after hearing it.

  6. Russ says:

    Twitter ID:
    Very Funny. But no matter what he said, he was dead.

  7. Twitter ID:
    I can see his point of view…who can blame the poor man! Russ is right he is dead meat!

  8. Don E. Chute says:

    Twitter ID:
    I guess she was just part of the ‘Salvation Army’.

    Have a great Fathers Day Week-end!
    Aloha.

  9. AVCr8teur says:

    Twitter ID:
    Haha, funny, sounds like lots of good excuses!

  10. MikeGolch says:

    Twitter ID:
    still he’s dead meat.

  11. Twitter ID:
    Actually made me laugh. Thanks.
    Rhonda@Laugh-Quotes also recently posted..I Am Not Obsessed With Poop!My Profile

  12. iTunes App Blog says:

    Poor man. And just when things were turning to be excited…LOL
    iTunes App Blog also recently posted..Free Alarm Clock iTunes App Turns Your iPhone / iPod Touch / iPad Into A BedSide Alarm ClockMy Profile