The Irishman’s Butt

Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary.

He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful.

Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.

He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.

In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Mary staring at him from across the room.

She said, “You were drunk again last night weren’t you?”

Flynn said, “Why you say such a mean thing?”

“Well,” Mary said, “it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly…’s all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.

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8 Responses to “The Irishman’s Butt”

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  1. Comedy Plus
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    Bwahahahahaha. Yep now that drunk indeed.

    Have a terrific day. πŸ™‚
    Comedy Plus also recently posted..Bloggers Cruise – Part IXMy Profile

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    ROFL! I wasn’t expecting that! Really funny! also recently posted..SpeedView to the RescueMy Profile

  3. Con Artist Trickster
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    LOL! I was gonna say “What a fool.” But then again, he was drunk. πŸ™‚
    Con Artist Trickster also recently posted..Music Monday- Best Cover Versions – HyperballadMy Profile

  4. Don E Chute
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    Oh Flynn I could relate.

    He was ‘God’s Own Drunk’–Lord Buckley & more recently–Jimmy Buffett.

    Annother GO!
    Don E Chute also recently posted..SAINT PATRICKS DAY 2011THE MORNING AFTERMy Profile

  5. Namz@Namz Crypt
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    HAHAHA…. Well it is possible when one is under the influence. It can happen to us too no?

    Luckily the guy didn’t bleed to death… LOL. Good one Steve!
    Namz@Namz Crypt also recently posted..MM-022- Paul Gilbert It’s A Waste Of TimeMy Profile

  6. Russ
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    Great Steve. I did a lot of strange things when I was young and a drinking man. Now it is nice to hear some drunken stories.

  7. June Zach (Fledgling Blogger)
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    Hahaha! Didn’t see that coming! Made me a good laugh! πŸ˜€
    June Zach (Fledgling Blogger) also recently posted..Zach’s Music Monday 7- ForeverMy Profile

  8. Lainy says:

    Hahahaha! I can’t stop myself from laughing again, Steve. This is hilarious!