The Limp Duck

An old one to brighten your Sunday

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.”

The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead,” replied the

“How can you be so sure?” she protested. “I mean you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.”

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.”

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill. “Β£150!” she cried, “Β£150 just to tell me my duck is dead!” The vet shrugged, “I’m sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been Β£20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now Β£150.”

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21 Responses to “The Limp Duck”

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  1. Russ
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    Yep! It is those test that get you.LOL
    Russ also recently posted..Sunday FunniesMy Profile

  2. Ian@Unofficial Chart Blog
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    LOL – Haven’t heard that joke in a while, and it made me laugh. Have a good weekend Steve x

  3. Comedy Plus
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    Bwahahahahahahaha. Oh that’s a good one indeed.

    Have a terrific day. πŸ™‚
    Comedy Plus also recently posted..UnderstandingMy Profile

  4. Rhonda@Laugh-Quotes
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    LOL – I hadn’t heard that one before. Lab report, cat scan – I actually laughed. Thanks.
    Rhonda@Laugh-Quotes also recently posted..They Sent the Men in White SuitsMy Profile

  5. Rhonda@Laugh-Quotes
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    Yay! I just noticed me πŸ™‚ I was so busy reading you, I didn’t see my silly face up there in the corner. Wow, blogger of the week. I am totally honored. Thanks πŸ™‚
    Rhonda@Laugh-Quotes also recently posted..They Sent the Men in White SuitsMy Profile

  6. Joyce Lansky
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    Oh, that’s bad . . . in a good kind of way.

    Joyce Lansky also recently posted..Lost and Found GBE2My Profile

  7. Zach (Fledgling Blogger)
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    Hahaha! That just made my day! My first laugh today! πŸ˜€
    Zach (Fledgling Blogger) also recently posted..Zach’s Music Monday 10- Beautiful In My EyesMy Profile

  8. Art of RetroCollage@Collage Art
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    Love it! Thanks
    Art of RetroCollage@Collage Art also recently posted..Courtship of X the Unknown- the Diplomatic Art of CollageMy Profile

  9. You have to pay…. as advanced tests done by Doctor. πŸ˜‰
    Anu @ TrendsAtGlance also recently posted..Now Lamborghini to build family carMy Profile

  10. FΓͺte Foreign says:

    That is so funny! Perfect for a Monday laugh!

  11. Firenze says:

    wow the lab report and cat scan is hilarious!!

  12. Woman Style says:

    visiting and droping… good luck to you!
    Woman Style also recently posted..The Best Gown for Your Special DayMy Profile