The Limp Duck

An old one to brighten your Sunday

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.”

The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead,” replied the

“How can you be so sure?” she protested. “I mean you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.”

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.”

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill. “£150!” she cried, “£150 just to tell me my duck is dead!” The vet shrugged, “I’m sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now £150.”

21 Responses to “The Limp Duck”

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  1. Woman Style says:

    visiting and droping… good luck to you!

    Woman Style recently posted..The Best Gown for Your Special DayMy Profile

  2. Firenze says:

    wow the lab report and cat scan is hilarious!!

  3. Fête Foreign says:

    That is so funny! Perfect for a Monday laugh!

  4. Twitter ID:

    You have to pay…. as advanced tests done by Doctor. 😉

    Anu @ TrendsAtGlance recently posted..Now Lamborghini to build family carMy Profile

  5. Art of RetroCollage@Collage Art says:

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    Love it! Thanks

    Art of RetroCollage@Collage Art recently posted..Courtship of X the Unknown- the Diplomatic Art of CollageMy Profile

  6. Zach (Fledgling Blogger) says:

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    Hahaha! That just made my day! My first laugh today! 😀

    Zach (Fledgling Blogger) recently posted..Zach’s Music Monday 10- Beautiful In My EyesMy Profile

  7. Joyce Lansky says:

    Twitter ID:

    Oh, that’s bad . . . in a good kind of way.


    Joyce Lansky recently posted..Lost and Found GBE2My Profile

  8. Twitter ID:

    Yay! I just noticed me 🙂 I was so busy reading you, I didn’t see my silly face up there in the corner. Wow, blogger of the week. I am totally honored. Thanks 🙂

    Rhonda@Laugh-Quotes recently posted..They Sent the Men in White SuitsMy Profile

  9. Twitter ID:

    LOL – I hadn’t heard that one before. Lab report, cat scan – I actually laughed. Thanks.

    Rhonda@Laugh-Quotes recently posted..They Sent the Men in White SuitsMy Profile

  10. Comedy Plus says:

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    Bwahahahahahahaha. Oh that’s a good one indeed.

    Have a terrific day. 🙂

    Comedy Plus recently posted..UnderstandingMy Profile

  11. Ian@Unofficial Chart Blog says:

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    LOL – Haven’t heard that joke in a while, and it made me laugh. Have a good weekend Steve x

  12. Russ says:

    Twitter ID:

    Yep! It is those test that get you.LOL

    Russ recently posted..Sunday FunniesMy Profile