The Mature Lady & The Cop

GladysA mature lady gets pulled over for speeding

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Traffic Cop: Yes ma’am, I’m afraid you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Traffic Cop: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: Well, I would give it to you but I don’t have one.

Traffic Cop: Don’t have one?

Older Woman: No. I lost it 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Traffic Cop: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can’t do that.

Traffic Cop: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Traffic Cop: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Traffic Cop: You what!? Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the boot if you want to see

The traffic cop looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car while calling for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: My colleague here tells me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner? Are you serious?!

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the boot of your car, please.

The woman opens the boot, revealing nothing but an empty boot.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The traffic cop is quite stunned.

Officer 2: My colleague claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license quizzically.

Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, but I am puzzled, as I was told by my officer here that you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner!

Older Woman: Bet the lying b*stard told you I was speeding, too.

Don’t Mess With Mature Ladies :mrgreen:


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7 Responses to “The Mature Lady & The Cop”

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  1. Comedy Plus says:

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    Bwahahahahahahaha. I’ll bet she got the ticket though.

    Have a terrific day. 🙂
    Comedy Plus also recently posted..The EngineerMy Profile

  2. Rosey says:

    Just because they’re old, doesn’t mean they’re not sharp. 😉 LOL

  3. Joyce says:

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    Good one. I won’t mess with old ladies.
    Joyce also recently posted..Theme Thursday: TrustMy Profile

  4. maggie winter says:

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    I didn’t see that one coming at all, brilliant. cheers
    maggie winter also recently posted..Help in BrazilMy Profile

  5. Twitter ID:
    I wish I was that clever now, never mind when I’m 80. 🙂 Thanks for the funny!
    Melissa@Home on Deranged also recently posted..The mommy fuse is short, the yelling is longMy Profile

  6. Mike says:

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    Never mess with little old ladies. This I have learned.
    Mike also recently posted..Bringing My Shovel AlongMy Profile

  7. Twitter ID:
    LOL. Never mess with old people 🙂
    Rhonda@Laugh-Quotes also recently posted..Hello Homeschool, We’re Back!My Profile