Tittertastic Saturday – Zen Sarcasms

?1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

3. It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbour’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.

4. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

5. Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.


Share
Tweet about this on TwitterShare on FacebookShare on StumbleUponShare on LinkedInShare on Google+Digg this

8 Responses to “Tittertastic Saturday – Zen Sarcasms”

Read below or add a comment...

  1. ” The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire or a screw stuck on my right side tire which is exactly what I have in my Camero’s tire. A big screw. If they can’t fix the tire I’ll need to buy a new one and my tires are the big ones. It might cost me $1500 just for one tire. I’m crying right now Steveo. Tears, tears, tears. See ya my friend.

    Cruisin Paul

  2. Comedy Plus says:

    Twitter ID:
    They are all good, but the first one is the best.

    You can walk beside me though Steve.

    Have a tittertastic Saturday. 🙂
    Comedy Plus also recently posted..Feline FridayMy Profile

  3. Rhonda says:

    Twitter ID:
    Now that’s a bit different.

  4. mimi says:

    That last one is especially true if the person you lent it to is your brother-in-law!
    mimi also recently posted..Saturday DoingsMy Profile