Tittertastic Sunday – Smart Ass Answers


It was mealtime during an airline flight.
‘Would you like dinner?’ the flight attendant asked John.
‘What are my choices?’ John asked.
‘Yes or no,’ she replied.


A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached,
she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, ‘Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.’


A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy,
‘ Do these turkeys get any bigger?’
The stock boy replied, ‘No ma’am, they’re dead.’


The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.
‘I’ve been waiting for you all day,’ the officer said.
The kid replied, ‘Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.’
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.


A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read:
Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally a police car comes up.
The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says,
‘Got stuck, huh?’
The truck driver says,
‘No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.’


A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam. ‘Now class,
I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness,
or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!’
A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
‘What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?’
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, ‘Well, I guess you’d have to write the exam with your other hand.’

4 Responses to “Tittertastic Sunday – Smart Ass Answers”

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  1. Hey Steveo, I loved them all especially the Smart Ass one. Was that you in class the teacher or the student? Oh yes, I taught for 31 years so I’m the teacher. LOL I had to do it my friend.
    Have a great Sunday Steveo.

    Cruisin Paul

    • stevebethere says:

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      I must say I have always admired teachers you must have a lot of patients Pauleo which all good teachers have and I know you liked it

      Thanks for laughing by have a smartasstastic week ➡

  2. messymimi says:

    Oh, how i enjoy reading smart answers to silly questions. Thanks for the laughs!

  3. Rhonda Albom says:

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    Great answers. You would have to be pretty quick to come up with these on the fly.